Classes ended last Friday. Yet, I still feel just as stressed, if not more. I am finally done the application for the exchange to Japan, but I can’t shake off that terrible feeling that I forgot something important. I’m missing something. I missed something somewhere. Where is it? Where’s that thing I need to white-out? Where’s that chunk that I noted to come back to but never did? I am going to get rejected because of some little mistake, I swear. I’ve already made so many mistakes with it. The application requires 6 passport photos enclosed in an envelope. There was a line after that that was shaded out. Me, being the stupid idiot that I am thought it was crossed out, so I paid no attention to it. So, I took 6 passport pictures standard North American-sized, costing me approximately thirty dollars. Later, I check the shaded part out again for whatever reason, and it clicks. It’s not shaded out… It’s highlighted. It only looks shaded out because it was printed black and white. Fuck.
My twenty page paper is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started. Going to have to hand it in late. Damn it. Why is everything due on the same day and so stressful with tons of things to do? Hate. I just need time off everything. Screw school. Screw work. Screw everything. Let me stay in my room under the blankets in the dark. Let me think things through and calm down. This anxiety has to pass. This beating heart needs to slow down. This tight feeling in my chest and gut needs to die. Stop everything. Stop my mind from taking everything too seriously and causing unnecessary stress. Please.